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These 23 Kitchen Gadgets Prove Humans Need To Seriously Get It Together

Architect K.A. by Architect K.A.
February 20, 2015
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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I’m all for convenience, but there is a line, and it has been crossed. We made food for thousands of years with only our hands and some basic tools. I think we can do without these stupidly specific products.

1. Egg Cracker

Source: amazon.com

Are there no 90° angles in your kitchen? Have we got the answer for you…

2. S’mores Maker

Source: amazon.com

It pinches your s’more together. That is all.

3. Nana Saver

Source: amazon.com

Is one banana too much, but zero is not enough? With the Nana Saver, you can eat one half and save the other for when you come back to reality you delusional muppet.

4. Cucumber Saver

Source: amazon.com

Are those pesky cucumbers not fitting in your Nana Saver? You need this, too.

5. Quesadilla Maker

Source: amazon.com

Do you not have a stove or a microwave or an oven? Then you probably want your only appliance to be a glorified cheese melter.

6. Pickle Picker

Source: amazon.com

If only there were already a 4-pronged tool to pull pickles out of a jar…if only…

7. Noodle Splatter Shield

Source: nedhardy.com

Even for Japan this is pretty ridiculous.

8. Butter Spreader

AD-Butter-SpreaderSource: mix941kmxj.com

Spreading butter has always been a way too unpredictable part of my life.

9. Table Saw

AD-Table-SawSource: salon.com

“I’d rather be in the garage than the kitchen. Hardy har har!”

10. Motorized Ice Cream Cone

Source: itsjustwhatiwant.com

Stick your tongue out and let the batteries do the work. Available for the low, low price of your soul.

11. NY Slice

Source: collegehumor.com

Congratulations, you have somehow made eating pizza with a fork and knife even douchier.

12. Homo Sapiens Sandstone Tool

Source: fitzsu.com

It is literally a $59 rock you use to mash things.

13. Battery Operated Flour Sifter

Source: maxiaids.com

Are you tired of your flour clumping together? No? Okay, nevermind then.

14. Wake’n Bacon

Source: bacontoday.com

Wake up to the light, refreshing aroma of cooked bacon!

15. Pizza Scissors Spatula

Source: thisiswhyimbroke.com

No. Just no.

16. Milk Moo Head

Source: thegreenhead.com

Are you tired of pouring milk the same old boring way? Have a cow vomit it instead.

17. Grill Sergeant Apron

Source: perpetualkid.com

“I’d rather be stationed in Vietnam than the grill. Hardy har har!”

18. Taco Proper

Source: perpetualkid.com

No laughing matter? That’s because they’re not a matter at all.

19. Mr. Sniffles Egg Separator

Source: amazon.com

Not only does Mr. Sniffles look like a smack addict, but you can always use the shell to separate like a goddamn human being.

20. Bell Pepper Corer

Source: thegreenhead.com

Peppers…am I right? The Rubik’s Cube of vegetables.

21. Roll N Pour

AD-Roll-N-PourSource: amazon.com

Is all that pouring making your wrist sore? You probably have a broken wrist.

22. Avocado Keeper

Source: amazon.com

Are your leftover avocados too important to go into regular tupperware? Give them the designer home that they deserve.

23. Banana Slicer

Source: bgr.com

This review speaks for us all.

Source: imgur.com

Source: Distractify

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